EXHAUSTING ISSUE

Fitting a replacement exhaust when yours perishes is a good idea, after all they are reasonably crucial to things. But it can be a more exhausting issue than you first realise.

Take my Forester for example. It uses the 2.0-litre turbo Boxer engine from an Impreza and has a burble waiting to escape; a burble that an aftermarket exhaust would surely help unleash.

When I first picked up the car it needed a new exhaust and I should have upgraded to a stainless steel one then. To save  on expenditure though I went for a standard replacement part and a few years down the line, guess what, that’s decided to fall apart too. So that’s about three years of muted soundtrack and reduced performance.

With the front pipe splitting from the centre pipe, the one bonus is the noise. It might be childish but I love a loud car (a ‘good’ loud car). At that point it was a good car and it was loud, but not good loud if you get my meaning…more amusing loud.

So I decided to search for a stainless steel system, which I figured may have been quite difficult until I hit upon the joys of eBay. A lot of people talk about Impreza wagon backboxes fitting and changing centre pipes etc, but I didn’t want to take the risk, especially when one seller was offering a full stainless steel system specifically for an S/tb Forester (like mine). It was made by Magnex apparently (although I thought they weren’t about any more!) and would come in at a touch under £400 delivered – that’s everything from the turbo back.

Almost two weeks later and a missed delivery later and it turned up, meaning my initial thoughts about fitting it myself had to be canceled due to time constraints…and I’m kind of glad that’s the case.

It took a local and trusted garage almost a whole morning to take the existing exhaust off, the bolts into the turbo causing particular problems as they broke when attempting to remove. It’s amazing the tools garages have for this kind of event, but it still involved blow torches and a lot of effort.

The new exhaust didn’t come with gaskets or bolts either and the old ones either perished, broke or didn’t fit. By mid afternoon the front and centre pipes were on though and it was looking good. Then they offered up the new back box. This is when things get really annoying. You can forgive the rest of it as bolts and gaskets are bound to cause grief after almost 20 years of service, but you can’t forgive promises of a ‘perfect fit’ only to find the opposite.

With the new box in place it was clear that somewhere along the line everything was about and inch and a half too short. If the back box was bolted to the centre section the silencer would be touching the rear anti-roll bar. The tailpipe – in a central position on the back box as opposed to a lower down position on the original exhaust – also couldn’t hook up to one of the hangers at the very back because it was obstructed by the tow bar brace and rear bumper.

Ideas were thrown around on how the new back box could be made to fit, but ultimately they all seemed like a step into a world where there was no other option should we try it and it fail. In the end it was decided the original back box should be fitted to the rest of the new system, but even that meant cutting an inch or so from the old centre pipe and welding it to the original back box to ensure it was the right length. Talk about a mission.

In the end then, after almost two weeks of waiting to get it fixed and an entire day spent in the garage I’m left with a shiny new back box in my shed, a quieter Forester than ever and I’m about £500 down. The plus of all of this is that the turbo does seem to spool up a little further and I didn’t ruin the new back box by trying to weld anything onto it. When I get a chance I’ll need to head to an exhaust specialist and have a stainless steel section added between the centre pipe and back box, plus a longer rubber hanger on the end. I’ll also get them to pop the rivets on the tailpipe surround as the fluted section that surrounds the actual exhaust is ridiculously large.

Moral of this story? I’m not too sure to be honest. It certainly isn’t to not modify as a stainless exhaust is better in every aspect than a mild steel one. However, perhaps it’s another case of doing your homework properly and perhaps allowing for a slightly larger budget than you initially planned.

NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH

A rumble can occasionally be heard from here. Smooth and low, it burbles for a few minutes and then it changes. First gear is engaged the revs pick up and past the window drives an immaculate Sierra Cosworth RS500. Seriously, it’s mint. Being new to the area I’ve not met the owner yet, but it’s crossed my mind that next time I hear it fire up I should go and introduce myself. It might be weird, but being a car nut too I’m presuming he’d be happy to have a chat with a neighbour about his pride and joy. I would if similar ever happened to me (I’d need to sort out my cars a bit first though!)

It also had me thinking about the other cars near me that look ‘enthusiast owned’. In a radius of about a mile there’s a bright yellow R33 Skyline GTS-t, loud Impreza, Lotus Elise and a tidy classic Mini Cooper. I’m often seeing a Maserati Granturismo, Mk1 Focus RS, orange modified S13, Clio V6 and immaculate, tuned S14 driving past too. And the other day I even saw a yellow Ford Anglia and a Mk1 Escort, both caged and looking show-bound. If I wasn’t about to leave the country to live abroad for a while, I’d be thinking about starting some kind of local car club!

Maybe this depth of car love isn’t unique though. Perhaps it’s just because I’ve moved to a busier and denser area. But do you know what cars live near you? It might be geeky to pay attention to these things, but it’s nice to know you may have at least a few fellow petrolheads living nearby.

THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX

A custom designed, from the factory surf van – sounds good to us. That was the plan by Curtis Brubaker who apparently saw the number of surf kids using battered vans in 1960s southern California and figured it might sound good to them too. Throw into that the next decade’s fascination with funky vans and you’d think this was a dead cert for success. But the Brubaker Box was not.

Based on a VW Beetle, the van with sliding side door and room in the back to get changed (presumably) was a short-lived dream that saw very small numbers produced. Problems with getting parts from manufacturers is cited in numerous places as the reason for the van’s demise. One company later bought the molds for the body and produced quite a number of kits, but the number of fully complete Boxes on the road is unlikely to ever be a number the world will ever know. That would make seeing one even more exciting.

They do seem to have appeared in some strange places over the year;

And were even used as the basis for a vehicle called the Ark Roamer in a 70s TV series about a group of scientists trying to revive the future in a post-apocalyptic world, Ark II;

If we happened upon one as a project, we may well be tempted to drop the Beetle engine and wedge a nice WRX boxer engine in instead. That rare and retro surf van style mated to some more modern power…that’s some thinking outside of the box we could be down with.

SHAKE ‘N’ BAKE

When you get to a certain age you start giving up on the idea that somebody may give you a GT-R or Ferrari for your birthday. Instead you revel in the small and thoughtful gifts from close friends and family…and cake. Cake isn’t really on the daily menu of your average male adult and is unlikely to have been even a regular occurrence since the days of party bags and kids parties. You basically need to have your own kid just to get back into cake world outside of your own birthday.

So, with that in mind, your birthday cake should be special. The sponge soft and light, the jam and cream delicious, the icing sugar expertly applied…and the shape; very much car-like.

If your special day is coming up soon, perhaps it might be wise to e-mail a link to this page to your gran, your mum, your wife/girlfriend…even your best mate if he’s handy in the kitchen. You know, just to show how impressive these tasty motors are:

Very impressive Celica GT-4 baking…not sure about the starfish though

A classic Herbie cake. Wonder if it’s ‘bananas’ cake

Looks like 22B rally car to us…and a chocolate log?

Another Impreza, perhaps a replica of the birthday boy/girl’s racer

Beautifully crafted MGB. Wire wheels must be tricky

BMW MMMMMM-sport. Yummy!

VW Golf? What’s the betting Tom won’t get a slice!

Lotus D-elise-ious

Awesome on so many levels…and in so many decades

GUILTY PLEASURE #8

WHAT?: Tartan interiors

WHY THE GUILT?: We’re not Scottish… and we’re fully aware a tartan interior treads the line of good taste.

WHERE’S THE PLEASURE?: In a world where everybody is worried about resale values and manufacturers look to offer cars with the the largest degree of universal appeal…tartan interiors are a slap in the face. A slap in the face in a good way. While very few new cars offer anything similar, it’s great when it does happen, like the Mk5 Golf GTI. In older cars the colours may be a little more out there than the more subtle execution in the Golf, and they may tread that line of good taste even closer…but that’s even more evocative. It wouldn’t work in all cars, but if you’re after a slice of retro funk in your interior, tartan/plaid interiors have got to be right up there on the ‘to do’ list.

8 WINDOWS GOOD

Hands up if you like glass! The more windows the better, right?

For fellow lovers of 8 windows, this is for you – a quick celebration and justification for loving estate cars/wagons:

Years ago a good friend bought an Impreza wagon and claimed the 8 window version was better than the saloon. At the time I thought he was mental – half of the pure awesomeness of Imprezas is the huge spoilers stuck on their boots. In my mind, the wagon version was a poor relative.

He was a few years older though, looking at becoming a family man, so I put his temporary insanity down to this. But over the years I’ve either become slightly more unhinged too, or liking 8 windows is a right of passage into some kind of middle age-dom.

I now look at estate cars as the obvious option. Why not have the extra room at the back? It’s a whole lot more useful and in many cases they’re beginning to look better than the saloon versions. Audi A4 saloon or Audi A4 Avant – it’s Avant every time. Any Volvo saloon or the estate version, again, the estate wins on looks.

In the tuning world or car enthusiast world estate models have always been the ‘oddball’ choice unless it’s like the Audi RS2 – where estate was the only option. In an age where owning more than one car is becoming prohibitively more expensive though, perhaps the rise of the 8 window car is now; who didn’t like the idea of a Focus ST estate? Fast, easy to use, practical and better looking than the 5-door only hatchback – manufacturers may even be cottoning onto this.

And generally speaking, older ‘unloved’ estate models are cheaper than their coupe or saloon siblings which makes them even more appealing. You’re more likely to find a well kept Impreza wagon than a saloon, and you’ll probably pay less for it too. It doesn’t have the same cache, that’s something I’d happily admit, but if you don’t care too much what others think and want the space, a certain unique style and some added wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing kudos, 8 windows are the way forward.

Further proof to be found here:

THEY’RE NOT TOYS

The first time I saw a photo shot with a tilt and shift lens I was blown away. How could a photo make real life look so toy-like!

Tilt and shift lenses were used a lot when photographing tall buildings as the movements of the lens stops the convergence of parallel lines – basically the width of the building looks the same when shooting from low down, rather than large at the bottom and smaller towards the top. But, point the lens towards other scenes and it starts making everything look miniature.

Nowadays, you can get similar effects using photo editing software and the results are just as awesome.

Cars in particular look particularly toy-like in miniature with tilt and shift photography or editing. It’s like some real geeky model makers have created their masterpieces, but looks are deceiving. The camera clearly does lie, thankfully:

Using just an iPhone4, here’s my attempt. Nowhere nearly as awesome as those above, but not a bad effort for a snap shot through a window – Millsy:

USED & ABUSED: MAZDA MX5

WHAT: Mazda MX5 (Eunos) 1.6

USED & ABUSED FOR HOW LONG: 3 years and counting

MILEAGE COVERED: 6,000

AGE: 1991

FUEL EFFICIENCY: roughly 25mpg if our maths is correct (approx 100kms per quarter of a 45-litre tank)

PROS: How would you like a two-seater convertible sports car with rear wheel drive and decent reliability? You would? Ok, how about if you could buy that for the price of an iPad? That’s the basic beauty of the Mk1 MX5 now; they’re the cheapest way to fun motoring you can find. Obviously you can spend more on getting a later spec model, with special edition goodies, lower mileage and the larger 1.8-litre engine, but you don’t have to if you want the basic thrills. When the sun comes out and you’ve got the roof down with a country B-road at your disposal, there wouldn’t be many other cars that can give you the same feeling as the 1.6-litre MX5. The small size makes you feel really connected to the whole car in a way that’s really endearing. Try taking one for a decent drive and then come back and say you haven’t developed a little bit of love for it. You probably won’t be able to.

They may not accelerate from standstill with much urgency, but get them up to speed and you can feel that balanced chassis working wonders through bends. A spirited drive on your own, sat low in the Mazda with the roof down is one of those pure driving delights that are so rare now. You need to work the engine hard to get moving, but that’s part of the fun. With well under 150bhp you can afford to give your right foot a workout without too much fear of getting into the kinds of trouble you can when you’re playing with 200bhp plus. You’ll be out-dragged by modern diesels, but you’ll be having more fun. As for being rear wheel drive… it’s so nicely balanced that it’s only in the damp that it’s likely to catch you out. Getting the back end out in the dry is a mission with so little power at your disposal… which is either a good or a bad thing, depending on your point of view. Perhaps one of the torsen type LSDs found in some 1.6s and later 1.8s (apparently) might change this though.

Another point in the Mazda’s favour is its reliability; in three years of ownership it’s needed a replacement water hose but that’s about it, having passed three MOTs without issue. Not bad for a 23-year old motor!

CONS: Practicality for more than one person is a bit of an issue. You can fit two people in and most of what you need for a weekend away (with the spare space saver out and a can of tyre foam installed instead), but there’s very little room for stowage inside the cockpit (drinks, snacks etc). For one person though they’re ideal. Even at over 6ft they’re spacious enough once you get used to the limited view through the windscreen! Fuel economy is another issue, the small engine and lightweight makes the fact you can barely seem to get more than 30mpg out of one a bit frustrating. And at motorway speeds things can get a bit rattly and noisy. You’ll probably be able to live with it though as you’ll always be aware there have to be some drawbacks to owning a cheap, two-seater convertible.

There’s also that classic problem with rear plastic screens in convertible hoods; even a relatively little used one was soon opaque just months after installing it. A hardtop for winter would be a smart move if the MX5 was your only car.

POINTS OF INTEREST: Rumours have it that even the standard mud flaps can sap fuel efficiency, so it may be worth ditching those. From a tuning perspective, the 1.6-litre engine can be the preferable option too. It was the base engine for Mazda’s 323 4×4 turbo hot hatch, meaning bolt on turbo kits are just that; ‘bolt on’. We’ve driven a turbo-charged one and if you had the money (around £5k for a conversion) it brings the MX5 to life; instant response, increased smoothness, a better noise and a more entertaining rear end. It’s the car you’d always want the MX5 to be.

We’ve also been in a highly tuned turbo-charged MX5 that was being built to try and hit 200mph and still using the 1.6-litre engine. That is about as wild a ride as you’ll ever be likely to have.

VERDICT: Not the smoothest or fastest of cars, but some serious no frills driving pleasure in an attractive and surprisingly usable package. That they’re so numerous and inexpensive makes them just that much better. They’ve got pop-up headlights too, which still makes us smile!

SCORE: 8/10

PROJECT INSPIRATION: (pics via embossed signatures)

SPRAY GOODBYE

How do you say goodbye to a bunch of good people you’ve worked with? Perhaps you spray it and don’t say it. That was what I figured this week anyway as my time working within Ford drew to an end (new adventures abroad beckon).

This was the stencil I made and sprayed onto cards for people and I was pretty happy with how it turned out (for a first attempt at stenciling anyway). Hope they all liked it! I enjoyed doing it, but reckon another couple of attempts might be in order – Millsy

A TASTE OF ENGLAND

Do you ever wonder what people from other parts of the world think about your country? Have you ever tried looking at where you live from a different perspective, trying to figure out how people from the other side of the globe would see it? You might realise the place you live is better than you thought, or it may be more rundown than you’d noticed previously. Or you may simply find that you’re living in a stereotypical idea of your country; shrimps and BBQs on the beach in Australia; cowboy hats, horses and lassos in Texas; village fetes by the church and classic cars in England.

That last scenario was exactly the view of England we saw in a small town called Nayland in the Essex/Suffolk countryside. Classic cars with even more classic owners sitting behind them on deck chairs, taking in the atmosphere as kids and their dads admire the polished bumpers and rare slices of auto history.

Aston Martins, Jaguars, Austins, Bristols, and MGs mix with Porsches, Fords and BMWs in an eclectic mix that watch over the welly wanging, crockery smashing and other unusual stalls that you realise might be uniquely English. A Morgan even found occupation keeping a freshly purchased house plant out of the unusually hot sun.

The small slices of motoring history, rare examples and expensive garage dwellers happily take a back seat to the village fete’s main events; a dog show and the drawing of the raffle.

This is England. These things really happen. And we love it.

Apart from the bizarre culture of a village fete, the locals all with jobs to do and the families busily enjoying things they would never normally be interested in, the classic car element of this particular event allowed for some nostalgia that went beyond old English village life. For example, why don’t modern cars have the fantastic fonts and badges that the old timers had;

And why does it feel unlikely that any new car will look quite as bonkers as this Bristol;

This old racer (answers on a postcard if you know the make and model) had seen some action judging by the commemorative stickers all over the front.

And what a great view from the back, with the road legal modern twist for a reverse light and the stuck-on plate hugging the sculpted rear.

But one of the coolest bits was the use of an old floral (or vegetable!) cushion in the cockpit. Despite all the racing heritage and beautifully cared for exterior, the owner still grabbed anything to hand in order to make it just a little more comfortable on his presumably old back. Brilliant.

Our pick of the cars though was this very 70s looking BMW 3.0 CSL. Just 500 were imported to the UK, some of which were fitted with the full aero packages that earned the CSL the nickname ‘Batmobile’

Pillarless coupes are great whatever, but on a CSL they look soo right. Stick your head inside and you get a full nostril of that classic plastic/vinyl/solvent aroma that makes vintage cars that extra bit special. If only these turned up to every village fete… that would be a tradition we’d gladly accept as English!